Day 7: Rock Up & rock being a woman
- Helen Kilminster
- Jun 23, 2019
- 4 min read
It's Sunday and we still have our guest, Brian Bear. The weather looks like a mix bag, again. Mr K is still away, so I've booked tickets for Rock Up, an indoor climbing centre. I don't think I've ever been rock climbing before. I wasn't ever allowed to go on things like Outward Bound. Brian Bear is so excited he can hardly contain himself.
This will be the first experience for both the Mini K's. I'm sure it'll be just fine - one parent: 2 children, all first time climbers. What possibly could go wrong?
The mere sight of the instructor and the harness has put Noel (7) right off! But Neve (5) steps up to the plate, follows the instructions, puts the harness on herself. No fear. Calm as a cucumber. I ask Noel about his concerns and I give him the information he needs to know to feel reassured. I promise him, I'll be with him always as I get my harness on too. We are all ready to Rock Up! Quickly the Mini K's get to grips with how it all works and that it is safe because we had listened and understood what to do. Not before long, Noel is hitting the top targets and Neve is going higher and higher with each climb. As the kids look settled, I gave it a go. I get to the target of the Big Cheese and I hear my two cheering from the ground. Their little faces beaming as I descended. "Mummy, you did it!". Yes I did.
We know personality is built in our make up but our emotional experiences influence our being. Looking back I did have quite a difficult upbringing, having to learn a second language at school. Oh my frustrations over milk and dry biscuits. A 5-year-old me constantly thinking "Why do these people insist I need to have this? WHY?" The bullying, social exclusion, cultural differences, living in a poor estate, the list is endless. But at the time, I loved my childhood, I have childhood friends that I'm still friends with now and I even married one! We made the best of what we had. We played football on 'the green', jumpers for goalposts, reused plastic bottles for water fights and stayed out until our mums hollered us back home.
My mum says I was stubborn from Day 1. I never did as I was told and I had 'I don't care attitude'. My family in Italy sent over beautiful dresses from Milan for me to wear but my mum was horrified to find me with the dresses tucked into knicker line and playing football and going cartwheels when I scored a goal. She knew there was no hope for a girly girl, whatever that maybe. As I got older into my teens I found my voice. The mix of fearless mentality and desperation to prove myself to other peers that I had something about me, I entered into school debates. I loved science and design technology (still do). I was the only girl in my A-Level design technology group. My teacher was disappointed that I stuck with the sciences, he felt I had a mind for innovation, ideas and creativity. Despite what my mum and my family thought, family pride and respect was very much engrained in me and I did want them to feel proud of me. A solid career choice was made, albeit a bit a last minute and coerced by the pharmacists I was working with on a Saturday. A pharmacist I was to become.
I feel very lucky to have made the friends I have made, no matter the distance and space of time. When paths are crossed again, I'm reminded that I'm the still the same person they had met years ago and the best line "just packaged a little differently". It's a new week tomorrow and I could cry when I think about being on the road again for most of the week. I have one day at home midweek, as supposed to my planned three days. But over the weekend I've been on my own with kids and I've met up with three strong, intelligent women. Not all are mums, none are my age but I think they're all beautiful and courageous in their own right. Women are truly beautiful creatures with inspiring minds.
I love being a role model for my children. I teach my son to respect women and show there's no place for stereotypes. For my whirlwind daughter, well, I don't think she needs any encouragement, she is already my shero. She is bold and feisty but quietly confident and compassionate towards others. But when you are ask her what do you want to be when you grow up? She always replies "Like my mummy". I am fully aware of all the issues surrounding the gender gap and gender inequalities. But with a new week dawning we all need some positivity, women if you're reading this, you rock and you are awesome. Unleash your mind to new ideas and let your imagination run wild with what you want to achieve. Men, if you're reading this, be a real man and support women in your lives at home and at work; you really could be the difference in changing someone's self confidence and self worth. I assure you that will be a powerful act of kindness beyond a measure that you could possibly, fully understand and for that we are eternally grateful.
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