Day 25: Art of conversation

There is no getting around the fact at the moment for PCNs there's a lot of meetings. Like ALOT ALOT. All happening with various stakeholders and at various strategic levels.

08:30 - My first meeting. Sandwell and West Bham CCG - PCN CD & Leads meeting. Always a jam packed agenda. Always informative to me. I can see how the national agenda is filtering through to PCN CDs to create the magic. Today was no different. I got to meet and hear Toby Lewis, CEO of Sandwell & West Birmingham NHS Trust. The audience already arranged in place based localities. So I sit in the West Bham camp. I've quickly tried to make friends around the table. Again I'm the only female. It doesn't bother me. Everyone seems nice, chatty and I'm included in the conversations. I've met everyone before. Personally I feel we are a bit of a rebel's table and there's banter and heckling from the table. I love the analogy today that these meetings are like weather reports; we state what's happening and predict with the best intel, where the direction is moving to and we predict what's going to happen next.

Team Slieve - often found giggling and having bants!

There's been a major boundary vote. Like Brexit. Vote Leave or Remain (or a third option). If you've read Pulse, you known the vote result keeps we as we are. I'm really happy with that. I can see we work well together at a 'place based level' and we all have ideas to contribute. As much as we moan and joke around, it's clear we all want General Practice to change for the better and succeed in the work that we do. We hear a summary of what's happened since the official launch of PCNs and I've been acknowledged positively as the only non-GP CD in the room. Again this doesn't bother me because I'm included in various conversations around the room. I don't feel excluded and feel part of the wider network.

11:00-12:00 I sneak out of this meeting to join a teleconference call to NHS England. I always find myself awkward in these. Much prefer to talk to people face to face. I find it more engaging to see people's body language and find cues for authencity. I hate to think I've made someone feel uncomfortable when talking to me. So often I find a joke about myself to share to break the ice.

12:05 I sneak back and meeting is still going on. I have a chance to comment and I add my 2 pence in. Then it's food time and I'm starving.

12:30 Red Whale GP Update: Time for CPD. Not sure my brain can cope but I soldier on until 18:00.

I am done.

My conversation style as changed through out the day, but my personality hasn't. I am me and I can't change that. What I can change is how I converse with someone, whether it'd be someone nationally, regionally, locality based or within my own team. I always try to show I'm friendly and funny and we can talk about anything, whether it'd be about work, balancing parenting life or even Fantasy Premier League tactics. I think I could talk about most things but where I find conversations hardest, is when people try to put me down and unprovoked attempts to make feel me stupid. Now for me, this hurts but I usually keep listening and talking. Many people ask me why I still find the need to prove myself all the time. This is why. To look at me, I am short, often squinting because I'm blind without my glasses; I'm not your typical well established white middle aged man. Perhaps I even look stupid or people just assume there's nothing about me.

English wasn't my first language and I know I'm not the brightest button but I can hold a decent meaningful conversation. My communication skills has served me well so far in this PCN world. I've listened and I've been honest with sharing my thoughts. I am kind and I never hold judgement. Conversations are important right now, most of mine start with "Hello, my name is..." or I follow you on Twitter!